Luke ch 1
Verse 5:7
•I understood that I will always have problem in life, not because am in the present of God  I will not have problem. No I God allowed these problem for me to see who I am, also for me to become stronger and keep my faith alive. In the present of God I will  face hard moment and in these time only God am able to call upon to take me out of this situation, in the end it will bring me closer to God. Also my age do not have a limit for God blessing once I used my faith he will honor me
After meditating I see in my life whenever I go through a difficult moment in my life instead of asking God how can I overcome this situation
to solve it, I do the opposite and complain to myself I can see am not using my faith at that moment am using my emotion. God as show me today to trust in him with everything.
Luke Chp 1
Verse 8:17
This is what God speak to me about today, many time in life if I don’t do something different to call God’s attention I will not acheived successful. I need to sacrifice and it dosen’t  nessesary mean  financial I need to in every other area of my life as well, many time I do the financial part and leave the practical part it’s a two part thing and God as show me this today to change this bad habit. The moment I sacrifice God will honor me in an extraordinary way. I need to ask Him to direct me each day and how to do things is way to overcome, God need to see where I am using my faith. The greatest testimony will come when I sacrifice, being in the church will not change my situation I have to take action used my faith and do what is needed to be done for me to see the greatness of God.
This as thought me a lesson very strong what ever God promise He will fulfill, many time I look to situation  in my life wondering how? But this is not my business where there is no way God will make a way. This is something I never look at it this way but God reveal this to me today am shock, In my love life I don’t trust God to know He will make me happy am still reminding myself to be careful when ever I try to fight for that area. I have three children and still have it in my mind I couldn’t be happily married thinking it will be hard to find a husband to take me with my children and married me. I was fooling myself that this thought gone long time since am of God, to my surprise God as reveal it to me today and this is why am  I lose interest in that area of my life. I was meditating on this I find out that the same love life am ignoring can later take me out of the present of God so I need to be careful don’t fool myself,  to be religious, whenever God bless me no need to doubt about God promise He will make it possible.
 
ke Chp 1
Verse:24:25
I need to belived in  the word of God what He promise will fullfill in my life, it might take years but I need to keep my faith and know that it will come through I don’t need to complain or feeling down. Stop using my emotion and start using my faith to change my life
most time am too complacent I need to take action and God will let what was imposible for man become possible in my life. Lesson learn stop complaining and take action. I have a gold to go to the bank and make an oppointment for a mortgage every day I said I will do it tomorrow even though I rebuke the taught of doubt I need to take action and allowed God to open the door.  I will go inside the bank an book this oppointment this week.

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Daily meds

Ecc 3:1
To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:

In  our life there is time set for everything to be done no need to be anxious, be patient wait on the time. If we rush things and let it happen before the time then we are using our own strength and this will become a problem in the future, allow God’s plan not ours He prepare us and know when we are ready. A solider can never go to war without any training and that is what God do to us He prepare us for our blessing.

The Story Of My Life

Karema Life Story

Part One

I would like to share my life story with you how my life was and how the situation in my life lead me to become a different person and let me changed for worst. Look how God as change my life around and today I has been able to share what for many years destroys my life and I could never talk about; Much more to write about probably your situation might be the same or worst but it can change the same way I was giving an opportunity to changed my life around it can happen to you.  Feel free to leave your comment below thank you.

My name is Karema Patrice Henderson I was born in St Mary Jamaica, my mother name is Sonia Marie Grant and my father name is Issac Henderson; I have three brothers and one sister my oldest brother lives in America and the others are living in Jamaica.

My life story beginning in St Mary Jamaica where I start my journey growing up has a child living with my mum and grandmother I am the first child for my mother, my dad was not around so I grew up without a father I live with my mother and grandmother for seven years until my mother decide to start a new relationship.

My mother and I move to live with my step father  in his house  in the same parish of St Mary where everything was seemed to be good at first,  after three years I was now 10 years old. One day my mother went to Kingston to shop and leave me to stay with my step father he try to sexual abuse me, thank God it did not get to happen as I was save from a terrible  scared in my lifetime. But still I was scared for life with what he try to do, how could I trust you as my dad and you try to do this to me I was so shocked and surprise I couldn’t wait until my mother come to tell her what happened. Well to my surprised my mother to my understanding she didn’t care about what had happen to the child she just need to save her relationship.

She drove me away and told me am not telling the truth, wow!! I received the shock of my life. She reply, “your step father will never do that,” well it didn’t stop there they called a meeting with only my step father family to try my case because he is a man of good character and they said I was telling a lie on him, now am on my own my mother who should be the only one to be there for me turn her back. Well when they finish question me they try my case but it was tried by my step father dad, (haha) am sure you must be thinking why am I laughing and for sure I will tell you weeks to come, of course my step dad was found telling the truth for them.

Now I become the wicked child finally. Immediately they told me you have to leave this home, you cannot stay. I am no long welcome there as a part of the family at 10 years old I didn’t know what to do, I did not have any one to talk to but to cry I was a victim for two offence.

1• Trying to sexual abused a child.

2• Putting out an under age child on the street.

Well the news spreads fast and my grand heard about the situation and came back for me but that was the day after all the trial happen, ask me where did I sleep of course outside but I need to watch my back because they looking for me, for sure not to say sorry or to tell me to come back but to beat me up, I make sure they didn’t catch me because (two on one is murder).

The situation get worst my mother and my step father decided to burn all the clothes they buy for me. I was left with nothing but to wear my grand clothes, remember my school uniform was in the clothes they burn because they are the one who bought them, I heard that news from my sister when I received this news my head was paining like it want to explored I don’t know what to do I can’t go to school without my uniform I was abundant by my mother and now I has been stop from going to school.

What is next to happen in my life? Everything is getting worst I was wondering why did my mother really have me then and why did this have to happen to me, well now all my families heard about what had happen to me and this cause my families to separate. Everyone going against my mother no one wants to speak to her

This bring even more pressure on my life and therefore depression  was already in my life,  I became sorry for my mother and wondering  if  it is because am the only child she has that   the dad is not supporting probability why? She was against me like this, but this didn’t answer my question and I start  blaming myself  for everything, I wish I wasn’t exist well this happen for one year I suffer with strong depression  at the age of twelve.

I became very closed up I would never speak to anyone only my grand, now a scar is in my life why should I speak to anyone and tell them what I am going through when I was label as a liar before, who would be next to call me a liar now it’s best not to speak  any more and how can I speak about this when all I do is cry when I remember.

I couldn’t sleep for many years, I was watching if someone will try to do this again. My grand  who I love so dearly,  she was always there for me,  she give me good encouragement and speak to me but that was not enough for me a seed was already plant in my heart and my mind. This seed was grudges and hatred towards man. At that young age I was planning my life I would plan I will never love a man in my life I don’t even talk about married because I used to look at man as an animals, reason only animals sleep with the mother and go on to the daughter.

I only need a man when I gets older to give me a baby and make sure it is a girl, I would not want to have a boy child in case he will reap what I sow in futures and one day to come I will surely kill a man.

Someone gave me a Psalm book and only to find in that book (all men are liars) haha, I finally found my answer it can’t be wrong this is in the bible.

After 1 year out of school my aunty from Kingston finally come and take me from my grand to live with her and her family, wow another opportunity as arrived I am back in school again my depression was put to the side and now need to focus and my school to get something out of life that is my only option.

Now I move to another place everything is fast I see things happen in the street which I never seen before in the country side, “”See and blind talk and dead.” well they said welcome to Kingston what can I do more than try to adopt to the life style (fast and furious).

I start to attend school my grades was good of course I was  a very  smart child growing up, now I can start planning what I want to become in life; before I want to become a journalist  but now I become shy so am sure something have to change here.

I attend high school I received a new mother my aunty who never leave me until this day she treat me like a princess she turn my life back on track but this time I have to go to church every Sunday. I have to obey the term and condition of the house but I was happy to go with them to church since a little changes is good sometime. I  couldn’t understand why I was happy sometimes and very angry another time and this is how my life stay for many years,  I would never really smile for fun but since no one can answer that question at that time that’s how life is get used to the mode swing.

I attend Greater Portmore High School for three years become prefect for many class and was nominated for deputy head girl in my last year everything was going good until in my last year in school my father came and make things even worst well my Father decide he will pay for my exams since he done nothing in my life, to my surprised I am not sure about this my aunt said don’t doubt he promise he will fulfil. How can I believed in someone promise when they break the promise to care for me long time ago and this is a part of why am suffering inside holding onto grudges and hatred, things that can’t help me only let my life worst. After listening  to my aunt my dad disappointed her on the last day that we  suppose to pay the exam fee,  I wasn’t surprised only my aunt, but how can I face my class?  When all my friend and teachers who believed in me so much to get top marks in my exam, how can I say to them am not taking any exam because of my fee is not pay. When my parents get long time to save the money. I decided to leave school what’s the point of staying if what I study so hard for I will not be able to achieved, I decided to leave and go and find a job. Unfortunately for many months I can’t find a job and now I leave school without taking my subjects. I leave with many taught in my head, in life I will never be able to become nothing good, all I can see around me is disappointment I am I a failure  in life. Depression came back for it’s position but this time to destroyed my life, my problem became  bigger than me.

Find out what happen next week when my story continue, very interested part 2 to come.